


The Soup Store

by Plutonia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur being confused with 21st Century lifestyle, Crack(ish), Gen, Humor, Inspired by Meme, Reincarnation, just don't take this too seriosuly lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 08:04:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12186132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plutonia/pseuds/Plutonia
Summary: Arthur goes grocery shopping. It doesn't go as expected.





	The Soup Store

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Code MENT - Episode 16 (Soup Store)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/325821) by PurpleEyes. 



> because I couldn't find an Arthur & Merlin version of the soup store meme anywere, i totally had to write one myself lol

The telephone rang.

Merlin sighed. It hadn’t even been half an hour. ‘Why did I ever think showing him how mobiles work was a good idea?’, he asked himself.

He was half tempted to just lean back, continue reading his book when he’d been so comfortably cosied up on the sofa for once. But the telephone was not giving in, continuing to make shrill angry noises. It was no use. 

Merlin shook his head, making a point of leisurely stretching his limbs as he stood up. ‘Stupid clotpole’, he thought. Couldn’t even be left alone for half an hour.

Finally he figured he’d let Arthur wait for long enough, and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“I need help,” came the buzzing voice from the speaker. 

“Oh, you most certainly do,” Merlin muttered.

“Ha ha, very funny Merlin. Can’t you stop being difficult for one minute and help me out here? This is serious.”

“Alright,” Merlin sighed again. Oh, how he’d missed that entitled attitude in the last thousand years. He couldn’t even bring himself to muster up some proper annoyance anymore. “What’s wrong? Surely the Once and Future King isn’t having trouble with something so simple as grocery shopping.”

Arthur huffed. “It’s more complicated than that. I’m trying to buy armour.”

Oh, gods. Where on earth was he? “And…?”, prompted Merlin, fearing for the worst already.

“There’s only soup!”

...Wait. What? “What do you mean, there’s only soup?”

He could practically hear Arthur rolling his eyes at the other end of the phone. “I mean exactly what I said, Merlin. Learn to listen to your King, why don’t you?”

Merlin made a face. Just what was that prat doing? Was he in the department store or something? And why was he buying armour? It made exactly negative amounts of sense. “I’m very sorry Your Majesty, I didn’t realize you were proclaiming a royal edict just now. You’ll just have to warn us silly peasants in beforehand next time you plan on babbling incoherently.”

“Merlin!”

“Sorry, sorry. Just… get out of the soup aisle, right?”

An annoyed snort. “You think I didn’t already think of that?”

Oh, now he was just being difficult on purpose. “Well, that’s fine and dandy then!” Merlin snapped. “Why are you even calling?”

“There’s just more soup!”

...Huh?

“Arthur,” Merlin said very slowly. “Have you… hit your head? Is your head hurting anywhere?”

“Dammit, Merlin, I’m not delirious. Stop talking to me like I’m brain-addled!”

“Well then stop acting like it!” he cried. “Where are you even? What on earth are you doing?”

“I’m at soup! I told you Merlin, I’m not going to repeat myself.”

Merlin sighed a third time, closing his eyes and massaging his temples. They were not getting anywhere with this. “Look, what store are you in? Do you know the name? Was there a sign at the entrance?”

“Yes! The sign said ‘soup’. I’m at the soup store.”

Merlin’s mouth fell open. 

Was this a fever dream or something? Was he having a stroke? Was Arthur? “Care... to explain why you’re buying armour at the soup store?”

Arthur hummed. “Well... the sign at the entrance spoke of ‘hearty knights wrapped in tight-fitting tin’. Though I have come to conclude that those fiends were clearly advertizing with false promises. I haven’t seen a single knight since I entered this establishment.”

“...”

“...”

“Have I ever told you that you’re a clotpole?”

“Oh, only about ten thousand times.” 

At that, Merlin hung up.


End file.
